I Can't Help But Remember

This video showcases elements that portray my experience and trigger an emotional response in me due to past traumas, related to Lebanon, whether they be sound, visual or even smell. Being fed up by the injustice of having to go through post-traumatic reactions is what motivated me to make this film, and it really helped me in identifying what bothers my peace of mind, as I usually would just tend to ignore it – and take control, reappropriating my traumas in ways that empower me.

The stills alternate between text and image in order to portray my experience as much as possible. The use of found footage echoes the fact that these occurrences are out of my control and I am bound to experience them, as it is up to me to get used to them, even though I can’t. The alternation between the ringing sound effect and underwater sound effect throughout the video echo my states of mind that include being numb, zoning out, feeling really scared and lonely and forced indifference. I experimented with pace as well, creating an uneven rhythm that either goes really fast or creates uncomfortable instances – which plays into my experience.